Sunday, June 29, 2014

Sandra's Angels

CBS46 News

Domestic abuse is a very real threat, and as the lady who works with helping women in need of refuge said last night, it affects 1 in 4 women. Sandra's case is so heart breaking and extreme, but the elements of abuse are an epidemic infecting our society, which makes it a community problem. When we don't tackle these problems in their infancy, they grow and escalate. Then it's up to the community to do damage control for a problem with many warning signs. Please learn them and let's help put a stop to abuse. In the mean time, Sandra and her family is accepting donations and could use your help on her road to recovery.

I have posted one of my paintings for auction on Ebay and will be donating the proceeds to Sandra's Angels. http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=321450476937





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Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Personal Soylent Issues

My body is weird, and my stomach is sensitive to certain things like B vitamins and chromium. Taking "weight loss" vitamins usually results in me throwing them up because they irritate my stomach. So when I started not being able to stomach Soylent, I figured that must be what was going on.

Before I started Soylent, I had taken a B vitamin shot, the only way I can get them into me without problems. Somehow this made drinking Soylent fine, but when it wore off, I had problems stomaching the Soylent and even threw it up. The taste became unbearable. But a B vitamin shot later and my body adjusted to it just fine again.

Also in the past I've had issues going vegetarian. Some people just can't, and apparently I'm part cat or something and need some of the amino acids from meat. I kept craving meat. We started adding Creatine to the Soylent and that helped, but looking at adding Carnosine and Carnitine as well.

I've basically been using Soylent like I did Slimfast and eating a real meal once a day. If nothing else, I am getting better nutrition than before, so that's good. I haven't lost any real weight. If anything I've gained but that's partially due to the thyroid issue and lots of heavy lifting. Trenton's lost 7 pounds and has been able to stick to purely Soylent without issue, but then he's mostly healthy.

A couple weeks ago I ended up in the emergency room with heart issues. So I haven't been pushing my body to adjust. I had congestive heart failure when I had my daughter, and a 50/50 chance of dying if I have another child due to my heart. So if I'm not gung ho over Soylent, it's because my body is abnormal to start with, and stress does bad things. I haven't given up on it just yet, but I'm not pushing it either. So we'll see what happens.

Friday, June 6, 2014

The One Thing That Ruins it All

Imagine trying to fit a child through that ... 
When "The Lord of the Rings" movies came out, I was in my mid-twenties. I had recently divorced a psychopath who laid a web of lies to catch me, and then tried to destroy me for trying to leave. The moment that I was divorced my male friends, saw me instantly as available, disregarding the horrible traumas I'd been through and I immediately had to deal with more people vying to get in my pants post rape.

When I saw Lord of the Rings, I was instantly infatuated with Aragorn, and it wasn't until recently that I put together why he was so attractive to me at the time. It had less to do with Viggo Mortensen's performance, and the knee weakening line "if by my life or death I can protect you, I will", and more to do with his ability to resist the temptation of the ring. Even when Frodo offered it to him, Aragorn said no, because it wasn't right at that moment. It also explains why when listening to the books, I was more infatuated with Faramir.

Of course when I saw Viggo in person riding Hidalgo, I squealed over the horse... I have issues.

Being a woman can be a lot like carrying the one ring. People you think that you can trust, who you've journeyed with for a long time, even if they make side long comments ... you don't think they'll pull a Boromir and jump you to try and take it from you ... but sometimes they do. And just like Boromir, some of them might feel guilty when they come to their senses later, but then there are Nazguls who might come out of the shadows and gang stab you, leaving you never quite the same. Gollums lurk in the corners, stalking you and waiting to pounce. Others feel entitled to the power for playing the nice guy, like the recent California incident, and when they don't get the prize in their web of lies, they show their true colors.

One does not simply feel entitled to sex.
Like the ring's gravity, sexual appeal is a form of power, a power that influences men and women. For every power hungry man who is more interested in the ring than its bearer, there are also Galadriels who can turn on you, wanting to be the most powerful, and can turn and attack you out of jealousy. I've been accused of a lot of sex I've never had with people who had more interest in me than I did in them. But the women involved couldn't fathom beyond their mate's lust to things such as friendship. They assumed that I was taunting men with the ring, (usually because that's how they used their own power) and perhaps some of those men might have been Boromirs, but some were also Faramirs who were just good friends.

All of this can leave a girl to want to throw that ring into the mountain and be done with the trouble of the Nazguls and Gollums in the world who seem to always be a step behind you. There are so few Aragorns out there in the world. Although it gets better as you get older and are less appealing than the new crop of young things, there will always be those making power plays of one form or another. At least the metaphor falls apart because it's not horrible to use your own power of the ring, well unless you're a Puritan with God's eye watching you. And using that power can be great if you happen to find your Aragorn. But like Frodo at the end of the series, those attacks from others can leave you changed. The wounds of Nazgul never quite heal even if you happen to have some Elven magic. But the journey is worth it as long as you've got some good friends like Sam and Gandalf to help.