My Prayer

Since I've prayed for things in the past and am pretty sure God likes me to be specific, I thought that I would share those things I earnestly desire for those in my life. Though I believe in the power of prayer, I also know that sometimes it's powerful to know that someone wishes good things for you, especially when you have a hard time even wanting them for yourself. Even if you are an atheist, if you're my friend, know that this is what I wish for you and take it as the positive thought that it is, even if you don't believe in prayer.

So here is what I pray for all my friends, family, animals, and myself... (I like to pray for us all together as an affirmation of our connections and relationships.)

To be Healthy (Physically, Mentally, and Spiritually), that all ailments of thought or flesh might flee us and free us to live a life unhindered. That all damage might heal rapidly and restore us to full health.

To be Strong (Physically, Mentally, and Spiritually), that being healthy and unhindered we might find strength to combat all that life might throw at us, whether flesh or thought, so that we might be strong in our defense and indomitable in the face of foes.

To be Beautiful (Physically, Mentally, and Spiritually), that in that Strength there might also be beauty and grace to temper what could be brutish, wisdom to temper the strength of mind, and love to amplify the strength of the soul.

May these things together create a perfect balance and bring us Peace and Prosperity. Keep us from pain and persecution and may we never seek to cause pain or persecution to another. In so doing, make us a blessing to those around us that the very act of being is more of a testimony than any word we may speak.

Bless those who Bless us, and for those who wish good things for us, I pray that they might also be blessed with the same.

For those who curse us, I pray they develop empathy and understanding and begin to be healthy too. That they might come to grips with what is broken inside them that makes them hate us, as much as anything that we have done. Convict their hearts that they might repent and ask for forgiveness so that we might move forward.

And for those we have truly wronged, I ask forgiveness for those times when we were neither healthy nor strong. Help us to repent and be forgiven that we might move forward.

I pray that all these things work for good, and that the human race might wake from the sleep that shuts its eyes to truth. That we might all see things as they truly are and move in a positive direction toward healing instead of wounding.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Spiritual Superiority?

During the Spanish Inquisition, informants were the main source of information, and people were encouraged to watch, observe, and report their neighbors to the church for possible heresies, a list of which grew over time. It began with the suspicion of converted jews, but once the inquisition took hold, it spread invasively into people's personal lives, torturing men and women alike. Previously peasants had no problem with premarital sex between two consenting adults, until the inquisition started pressing down on them, and set the stage for truly evil application of supposed religious superiority, while devising and employing torture devoid of anything remotely good or spiritual. "The denunciations were anonymous, and the defendants had no way of knowing the identities of their accusers. In practice, false denunciations were frequent. Denunciations were made for a variety of reasons, from genuine concern, to rivalries and personal jealousies." - Wiki

I can't help but feel that some remnants of the inquisition still remain today, but then the sense of spiritual superiority has always run deep from the Old Testament Pharisees, later to monks looking for status and wealth by starting brothels. We like to think that we are superior to the people that lived in those times, but the truth is that people haven't changed much. There will always be those who are cruel, and those who are kind. There will always be people who use religion and spirituality as a club to abuse others, whether it's the nosy church lady or the authoritarian husband how justifies abusing his wife and children. I've never met someone who was abusive who didn't think that they were higher evolved, better than others spiritually, and most disturbing, these abusers were well received socially. It's only one step from believing you are spiritually superior to thinking that you have some divine dominion to criticize and control others.

The very essence of the egocentric notion of spiritual superiority negates such assertions. It's not that they people in this role think they are saints, so much as they use their spirituality or religion as more than a source of pride, but proof that they are better than others. It comes with a tightly controlled and monitored exterior representation of who they think they are, but more importantly who they want people to think they are. As Stephen Covey noted in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective people, it's usually the people at home, when the mask comes off, that see the real person, which is often very different. 

There is power in being perceived as spiritually superior. Look at TV Evangelists who have a voice that reaches millions or even the religious leader who has the power to define what is right or wrong. They control the consciences of a good portion of their congregations, and therefore have a great deal of influence on the congregation's actions. In medieval times, Monks were given money and land to pray for knights and nobles, because they were perceived to be more holy and therefore their prayers were considered more affective. Meanwhile the monk life of sacrifice was far from it at times. Saint Benedict, the source of the Benedictine monks tried to change that, but like those who are intent on true spirituality, he was not well received. He imposed rules, and the other monks tried to kill him for it. Miraculously he survived 2 attempts on his life.

In reality the most beautiful people I've ever known spiritually never made assertions of spiritual superiority, divine insight, or any other form of spiritual pride. They were too busy helping others and proving their spirit with their life. And if confronted with these notions, they avoided competitive comparisons. They just kept on doing good, even when people looked down on them, criticizing their spirituality because of minutia. But true spirituality tends to be less socially acceptable than the bombastic narcissism that has infected society where self esteem has become lauded more than personal responsibility. Good people often get walked over and disrespected by self proclaimed spiritual people, who are too in love with themselves to think of others. The self proclaimed spiritual often are attaining something by their acts, either in attention in a form of narcissistic supply, or for some self-serving reason. The quiet acts of the truly spiritual are less spectacular, and often go unnoticed. Their sacrifices get glossed over in the wake of the dramatically spiritual.

"It only stands to reason that where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master." - Ayn Rand

In general people like to judge others and look down on people to make themselves feel better about themselves. If they didn't, we wouldn't have reality TV. All humans are flawed, but those who are honest about their flaws are not as well received as those who use excuses or hide their flaws. You can't see into another's heart or soul, but you can get a glimpse by what comes out of them, and if it's self importance, it can't be very spiritual. Even Jesus said, "Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone." - Mark 10:18

How do I know this? Cause I see myself fall into this pit at times. How many will be honest with themselves and admit it? How many are thinking that they are spiritually superior and yet are unsure of their soul or just afraid of death? How many find themselves alone and still blame someone else? How many are helping because they know best or because they really care about the person? Are you willing to empathize or are you too busy criticizing? Are you being honest about what you are really getting out of situations?

It's not a fine line. It's a tight rope. You lean too far one way or the other, and you are going to fall. But some people are too busy telling themselves that they're flying to get back on the rope and keep walking to the other side. 

The Sword and the Truth

Truth is compared often as a sword and its usage treated in much the same way. I'm not advocating lies, but truth should be tempered with mercy and tact.  It should be used in specific ways, much akin to a sword as it cuts to the heart of things.  It pierces through the veil of darkness that obscures and distracts.  For this reason one should live by truth as they live by the sword.

Truth, like a sword, should be carried with you, ever ready to be wielded.  However if you do not know how to wield truth or a sword by drawing it, you have issued an invitation to be attacked. It makes you a target, a threat, to be taken down by those it threatens most. If you are not able to handle truth, it will ultimately cause you much damage despite having truth in your possession. 

Truth, like a sword, is used to not only attack but to block the attacks of others. It must be sharpened and honed with provable facts and not emotions or opinions. 

Carrying truth with you constantly, presenting and demonstrating that you are quite capable with it, is enough to scare away the cowardly who prey on the weak and defenseless, but it will draw to you the extremes of those who are arrogant and enjoy battle, the competitive, those who are too cowardly to stand for themselves, those in actual need, those who only think that they are righteous, and those who actually are, who love honor and all things good. 

If you are with a friend who is hurt and down, knowingly ashamed, it is not wise to draw your sword on them to beat them down further. A sword is a tool.  In times of mercy it is not always needed, unless it is to cut out the sores and poisonous bites that taint someone.

Truth is a weapon used to defend honor and fight injustice, but it is only as good as the person who wields it, and best used in the presence of armor or thick hide to defend against the reposts of the enemy.  Most are not agile enough to simply not be there to avoid those attacks, but then it is near to impossible to have your truth heard to defend against attacks to which you did not bear witness.

In essence, the best way to wield truth is to practice using it regularly, to learn all you can about it, and to be ever ready to use it to its fullest extent. 

One of my favorite quotes of all time is "To be a warrior is to be genuine in every moment of your life" by Chogyam Trungpa. It sums up the general concept that a life of honesty is a hard life of conflict. People fear and fight truth at every turn. It does not tell them what they want to hear, it tells them the truth. Often, people who think they are honest and genuine lie to themselves the most and convince themselves of things that simply are not so. It is a constant battle against external and internal forces to be genuine and honest with yourself, others, and the intent behind your actions. Perception is not always the same as truth, no matter how much we may wish it so. We are either leaves blown about on the wind at the whim of others, or we are trees rooted in truth.

"Every man has three characters - that which he exhibits, that which he has, and that which he thinks he has." - Karr, Alphonse


A Warrior of Light works to ensure that all three are the same.

Verses VS Platitudes for Ineffective Responses

To those who don't know what happened, I blogged about it http://linzarcher.blogspot.com/.../10/bad-anniversaries.html This is a heavily religious post and I normally prefer to avoid those these days, but one too many Bible verses thrown at me, and I just couldn't take it anymore.

This started with a post on my Facebook earlier this week, and ironically I got responses that were similar to what I was just complaining about. After asserting that this approach was ineffective, I got more of it, because forcing the issue makes it right (sarcasm). Books 30 years old obviously hold all the answers because they couldn't have made any important discoveries in mental science in the past 30 years! (I'm dripping the sarcasm now) But I'm in for a penny, so I thought I'd blog and be in for a pound. Keep in mind that I'm upset at the practice of platitudes and verses used as some mental bandaid on wounds that need stitches, more than the religion behind it.

I've heard every platitude and Bible verse in conjunction with what happened, but God gives people free will, even the evil people. If you wish to respond, please be a human with independent thought, don't throw other people's words at me. It only makes you feel better about yourself. It doesn't actually help. It doesn't express empathy. It doesn't fix things.

It does lead to Just World Fallacy. It is a cop out to not think or connect with another human. It expresses judgement, detachment, and a sense of superiority. I've got nothing wrong with the word of God and if I want it, I'll read the Bible and go to the source, or pray and talk to the divine myself. I don't need someone else to dictate it to me.

The monster was very fond of using Bible verses to control people. You don't have to love someone to do that, you just have to want to control them. He was a registered Baptist minister, son of a minister, and leader of a wiccan coven... though I didn't discover that till AFTER we got married. So to the jerks who say I shouldn't have gotten divorced, you're right, I should have stoned him.

The way many (not all) Christians treated me after everything that happened was enough to make me not want to be one anymore, but instead, I just became my own version. I prefer actions to words. They mean much more. And I'm very tired of people telling me what to do and think and feel, especially when they've never been where I've been. Hate to say it, but males have been the worst about this. They want to fix it, when the fix actually requires empathy.  Their attempts to fix without empathy in these matters more often than not break things worse.

Many are still stuck in the mentality that trapped me with the ex in the first place. I wanted to help him and I believed that all people were inherently good. So they are stuck on his salvation, but I have to go with Ayn Rand on this "Pity for the guilty is treason to the innocent."  

Psychopaths are not curable. They have no guilt, which is the main proponent of people making a choice to not be evil. They are a small sect of humanity and their brains literally do not function like a normal person's. I'm sure that functional human beings can, but if you have not had experience dealing with a psychopath, then you don't realize that you can't apply these things, like you can't expect certain things of people born without ears, or legs.

I don't have a problem with Christianity as much as the fact that many churches pump out narcissists [lack of empathy, over devaluation or idealization (inability to see mid-ranges), magical thinking, need for narcissistic supply e.i. other people's perceptions of them as "holy", inability to recognize boundaries, need to "teach" others because they think they are better than others] and codependents [ Are a corrupted form of "do unto others" They do to you what they want done to them. Their acts of kindness are for control. "People who are codependent often take on the role of martyr; they constantly put others' needs before their own and in doing so forget to take care of themselves.] like a factory, and their conditioned responses are often unhealthy ones. 

I believe you can be a Christian and be emotionally healthy. I believe you can have faith and still be logical about it. I believe that respecting other people and their boundaries is part of loving them, and to do otherwise is not a display of love.

My beliefs are valid and personal and not for community moulding. My mind, my body, my heart, and my soul are mine, and therefore my decision who to give them to, is nobody else's business. I refuse to be treated like property of any human or institution, which means that my life is not up for others to tell me how to live it. I am not perfect, but I have learned from my experiences, and a lot of what I have learned is that the church as a whole has accepted unhealthy doctrine, and that those without wisdom or experience are the first to offer someone else's words.

God gave us a brain to use it, to learn, and that God's laws are written on the hearts of humans in the form of conscience, and that those that defy them to do despicable acts are more lacking in empathy than religion, so I cannot abide by teachings that result in lack of empathy, which is the very antithesis of learning to love.

Beliefs in general don't make you a good or bad person, though I find many people think that they do. Actions are what define people. I've seen many a hypocrite (Greek word for actor) present a public face and be a monster in private. From boyfriends to bosses, I've been disappointed repeatedly when their actions and their words were out of sync. I've seen pagans who had worse "holier than thou" airs than the Christians they insisted on telling how to be good Christians (while they did some horrific stuff). Then again I know many non-Christians who've read more of the Bible and about the Bible than the majority of Christians I know. It doesn't matter what symbol/power you attach your identity to, it's who you are, and if who you are cannot offer something helpful from inside you, then you probably should not offer it at all.

At the end of the day, if you have not been through a situation like someone else, then perhaps it's time to be quiet and listen. Before you can hand out information of any kind, you have to understand a situation, and unless you have a degree in psychology or have been there yourself, the best way to do that is to listen.  It's not to assume that the victim did something wrong to end up in the sights of a psychopath.  Ted Bundy avidly preyed on the kinder impulses in people to get his victims.  He wore a cast and would get women to feel sorry for him and carry things back to his car where he would beat them over head with the cast and throw them inside. 

This is a choice made by an evil person, and no amount of platitudes and Bible verses are going to undo the event. If that's how you deal with things, fine, go read your Bible and pray. However if you want to help, try listening without thinking about what you want to say.  Put yourself in their shoes, and imagine the circumstances and emotions involved. Empathy begins when you stop thinking about changing the other person and start seeing them as a person instead of a broken thing to be fixed.

Faith and Belief

Lately I have been pondering on the concepts of faith and belief, and I think that they are two entirely different creatures that often become intertwined to have the same meaning.  This simply is not the case, and I can only speculate on the core differences, but there is a difference.

Belief in something does not make it true.  I have heard many people say that if you believe it, then it will happen, but if that were true, when people who are high believe they can fly, we wouldn't find their bodies the next day splattered on concrete.  I have no doubt that they believe with all their hearts that they can fly.  We can believe a lie told to us all day long, but it does not make it true, nor change reality by enough people believing.  If it did, we would not have schizophrenics, who live in their own worlds, but it is only real to them, and does not make them true... it makes them sick.

So how is faith different?  You can invest your energy and faith into someone and still be betrayed, but I  believe (so this could be right or wrong) that faith does not come from us.  Faith is the connection between us and the divine.  Such was the lesson on the water with Jesus and Peter.  So long as Peter had his eyes on Christ, he could do it, but fear set in and he began to sink. Before he could walk on water, first Peter had to believe, but not in himself.  He had to have faith in the divine that all things were possibly through Christ who strengthens us, and all things work for good for those who serve the Lord.  And if you ask me, that's rather specific.

Throughout my life, I have been exposed to a variety of people, and in them a variety of beliefs, but the one resounding difference was what they believed in, more than what they believed.  Those who believed in the light, the good, and that it would carry them, those who actively worked to shine that light to the benefit of others, those were people who had faith.  Adversely I've seen many with a foolish belief in themselves only to be a disappoint to themselves and others time and time again when reality didn't measure up to their belief.  I've seen people more concerned and with more belief in a cause, using their belief as a crutch to support that cause than the other way around.  Personally I have seen and had faith in things to see mighty things happen, and I have believed in things that were unworthy of that belief and ended in bitter disappointment.  Honestly the result is indicative of that belief versus faith.  The seed was planted and you could tell by its fruit whether it was planted in faith or belief.

In conclusion, all I can say is that there is a distinct difference between the two.  Perhaps it seems simplistic, but if that were so, people would not be getting it wrong so much.  I leave you with the question:  What do you believe in?  What do you have faith in?  How often have you been disappointed by who or what you believed in?  All I ask is that you examine your intentions, your sources, and perhaps you might find the solution that is right for you.  In so doing, I hope you find the faith that you need, by letting the light lead.