Moms

An article I just posted on FB has encouraged me to give my opinion, which is never a popular notion.  But I'm tired of the mom's that are "oh wah, you have to stay home with your kids, but I'm going to work 40 hours a week too" which basically says "I'm better than you because I have a job".  This is a symptom of the greater problem of women in competition with each other, or the one I hate more of the competition of who has it the hardest... and if that's the case, I hope you win.

If you are going to work 40 hours a week, then it's a safe bet that you aren't doing this with your kids.  You drop them off at school or day care or with grandma.  This means that SOMEONE ELSE IS DOING THE WORK.  If you are paying someone to do something that you aren't willing to do, this is not the same as doing it.  While your kids are elsewhere, they are not tearing up your home for you to clean up and essentially making more work for you... and if you are lucky enough to have a husband that helps clean up or a cleaning service... then it's really not the same.  You are going to your job, but you are not contending with your children at the same time, which is also a job or you wouldn't be paying someone else to do it.

I am a stay at home mom because I am self employed.  This means that I squeeze in every hour I can when I can, but also means that I can't focus on things because if I hear my little girl crying over the monitor during her nap, I'm up there and checking on her.  There's no real down time, but I manage.  However I come in contact with a lot of moms minimizing what I do, but the worst are those without children.  I had one person who criticized me and then couldn't stand watching Morgan for more than an hour without a break down.  Somehow mommy does it all day though... and yet this is reason for criticism?  Honestly Morgan is a fairly well behaved kid. I hate to see how that woman handles motherhood.

I guess the point is that the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence, and really it's nobody's business unless the child is being abused.  The only reason to criticize stay at home moms versus working moms is either jealousy or a superiority complex... which as it is often characterized by lack of empathy would make sense.  Isn't it hard enough to try and make it in a man's world without beating down other women?

It's really easy to judge someone if you haven't been there, and that's one of the problems of being a survivor of trauma as well.  People don't get it unless they have been there too, but the majority of the problem is a lack of empathy.  Not everybody has to do things the way that you would do them.  Stop using your own interpretations by which to measure other people, because I can guarantee that at the end of the day, you won't measure up to even your own vision of yourself.