To Like or Not to Like, That is the Question ...

As a mother, I see things in my child that are the seeds of adult issues and try to nip them in the bud. One of them is a tendency to like things in order to fit in. My daughter has her own mind in so many ways, but there's that nervousness and desire to please. Then at times she's down right bewildered when some people don't like the same thing that she does, and I have to reminder her that it's okay to not like all the same things.

In a world filled with people who attack others for having opposing views, or liking things that they don't, I think a lot of adults still do this from that same seed, and ultimately they have a hard time being honest with themselves and others about how they truly feel about things. Do they really like it, or do they think that they are "supposed" to like it?

Whether it's related to politics, religion, or even just food, there's a media frenzy to tell you what to like, what to want, and who to be. I've known people who responded with the exact opposite, where they purposely dislike things that are popular. My brother as a child often disliked anything the moment I started liking it. I remember liking things that I was "supposed" to like and then as I became stronger in myself, I let go of those things, and embraced the things I truly loved. In so doing, I found more people like myself and didn't have to "work" to fit in, because I already did.

It's understandable with children who are still finding out who they are, but I've seen many adults suffer from an inability to admit what they do and don't like. They don't know their own mind and thus it's hard for others to really know them, because who they are could change dramatically with a trend, or someone else's new idea. How can you know someone who is simply an amalgam of other people's identities? Can you know someone who doesn't know themselves?

Sometimes from the outside, you can see or at least acknowledge habits and behaviors that the individual might not be aware of, until they learn to accept the full scope of their own being. So in a way, an outsider might be capable of knowing someone better than they know themselves, and in that moment there is danger, because someone with bad intentions can spot an easy target who can be manipulated by those same exterior concepts that dictate their life. It happens in the media and religion all the time, pulling heart strings to sway someone to their point of view.

Everybody changes over time, but still there's a core self that should be solid and remain solid, and it starts with being honest with yourself about yourself. You have to be able to take a hard look in the mirror and accept the good AND the bad. You have to know what is you and what is influenced. You have to think for yourself instead of letting other people tell you what to think about certain topics. If you do, then new information that is contrary to your beliefs is no longer a threat. It's only a threat if other people control what you think.

So as you go about your day today, question everything, and ask why you do what you do, why you like what you like, and be honest, ESPECIALLY if you don't like the answer. Who told you to like this or not like this? How did it enter your life? Who let it in? The answers might surprise you, and you might not be as independent in your thinking as you once thought.