Southern Gentleman, a Dying Breed

This morning, I was thinking that I have met very few "Southern Gentlemen" (they are still out there). I've met gentlemen. I've met Southerners, being in the South, but the Southern Gentleman, which at one point was a defining point of the South, seems a dying breed.

I've met many a redneck trying to pass themselves off as a Southern Gentlemen, but were only truly respectful when they thought it would get them what they wanted. It's a lot like Cartman on South Park, sweet talking his mom when he wanted something, being a horrible person the rest of the time. To them it is all an act, often to get in someone's pants, that fades quickly once they get what they want. Soon they devolve into seriously crude and often very misogynistic individuals, seemingly ticked to have been "forced to act a certain way" though they chose to play a part that was a lie.

There is a big difference between someone who actually has respect and those who feign it for short term social gain. Those who have respect inside them demonstrate that respect as an outward projection of their inner selves. Those who feign for gain, can't wait to drop the mask and cannot grasp actual respect, because they see it as a performance instead of a core part of their own being. Many may delude themselves into thinking they have respect, but the truth always shows itself in little unconscious ways and passive power plays. All of which are the antithesis of what a true Southern Gentleman is supposed to be. In fact, Robert E. Lee, who epitomizes much of what we consider the classic Southern Gentleman , defines it as someone who restrains them-self with self control and respect for others, especially when in a position of power. It is a cruel corruption of its original intent to use it as a means for manipulation.

Definition of a Gentleman
Robert. Edward Lee

The forbearing use of power does not only form a touchstone, but the manner in which an individual enjoys certain advantages over others is a test of a true gentleman.

The power which the strong have over the weak, the employer over the employed, the educated over the unlettered, the experienced over the confiding, even the clever over the silly--the forbearing or inoffensive use of all this power or authority, or a total abstinence from it when the case admits it, will show the gentleman in a plain light

The gentleman does not needlessly and unnecessarily remind an offender of a wrong he may have committed against him. He cannot only forgive, he can forget; and he strives for that nobleness of self and mildness of character which impart sufficient strength to let the past be but the past. A true man of honor feels humbled himself when he cannot help humbling others.

Though Lee was far from perfect (we're all human), and a byproduct of his own day, it is not a reason to throw out all the wisdom that the man possessed. He had many powerful points that still hold true today, while the ones that don't are fairly obvious.

Today we have a culture that thinks only of the venire. Somehow putting on a suit and tie, while brandishing a huge ego that deigns to open a door now and again, is what passes for the modern definition of gentleman, Southern or not. But a gentleman is a noble heart first and foremost, possessed of humility and strength of character. This is something that is developed through work on one's self, and much harder to achieve than fancy clothes and an act. At the core of the matter, this is why true gentleman are so rare these days. Few want to tackle the self discipline it takes to become a man of honor instead of ego. But when you find one, you will not recognize a gentleman by how they look or how they speak. It will be evident in the consistent demonstration of integrity, character, and self restraint. The world needs more of them.

Quality Takes Time

Quality takes time. Over time I have become a slower artist than I used to be, but I am also a better artist than I used to be. I've worked hard to grow my talents, and as they grow, I see things that I didn't see before. I pick up the things I missed, and with every new work, I learn more and grow more.

This is one reason why I started posting pics online as I work on them. Sometimes 4 hours of work creates very subtle differences, as I focus on one color or highlights. Inevitably my husband will ask me "is it done?", and I will answer "no". He will say "it looks done to me. It's done enough for what you are getting paid." But quality takes time and I don't want to sign my name to it if it's not quality. There have been deadlines I've powered through to get done in time, and it shows, in a bad way. If it's meant to be quick and sketchy like storyboards, that's different. It's meant to be quick and tell a story in small frames and it's an art unto itself. However Leonardo da Vinci took 10 years to finish the last supper. A masterpiece takes time. 

"You can have it fast, cheap, or good ... but you can't have all three at the same time."

I fear that our "I want it now" society of fast food and shows on demand has lost sight of what it takes to make something of quality, because to them, they just get what they ask for and never see the prep work that went into making it happen. Unless it's in their face, they don't think it's happening. They think because they don't see you working, that you aren't working. This seems to especially apply when you are self employed and your work days are very different from the norm. Even though they've never done anything like it themselves and have no concept of the amount of work it entails, if they don't see it happening, then it doesn't exist to them. In similar fashion this same mentality of "I want it and it appears", doesn't seem to grasp working toward goals. They see success and wealth and are jealous. Instead of thinking "how did they do that?", they think that the person is just lucky, because they don't see the sacrifice and tears that came before the success. It is fundamentally short sighted.

All this is to say that anything in life that is quality takes time to make it that way. Relationships don't just happen and are perfect, they require time and work. If that isn't there, you're going to end up with poor quality, even if it started out great. All these talents that you see in other people and admire, they rarely just happen. Often they are a byproduct of a lot of work, trying and failing, lots of frustrated sketches in the trash bin, and full sketch books dating back years. Other talented people take years of training, research, and work to break boards, pirouette, write a novel, put together an event, fix a car, perform in film, or make anything that can be considered quality. 

Too many people today want a short cut, and want it now. They don't want to hear that there is no short cut, only hard work. Look at George RR Martin who has been writing the Song of Ice and Fire series since the 90s. Now that it's become a hit show, people demand the next book NOW, to the point that the actor who plays John Snow spoke out against the harassment the writer is now receiving. Those first books that everyone loves now, have been around for years and were made with all the quality that makes us fans. And suddenly he is being pushed to write faster than he ever has before, while he's added show consultant to his job load, which can only extend the time to make another book. 

"George R.R. Martin is not your bitch!"

Yeah, it's work, but when it's your passion, most artisans and creative people are workaholics concerning that passion. There's really very little else they would rather do, and are rarely happy when prevented from pursuing it. So the extra work is welcome because it's what we love! Perhaps as kids writing fanfic, it doesn't seem like work or practice writing, but it is. Just because it's fun doesn't mean it's not work or practice. With every new work, there's an opportunity to learn and grow and try something new. Every failure is a learning experience and an opportunity to start new or change your approach. It's a chance to make something better and have something better, when so much is expendable in the "want it now" society. And it's that passion for creating that creates the things we love. It applies to life on many levels. That happy couple in their 60s is the byproduct of lots of work over lots of years. People build careers, skills, relationships, and talents one step at a time. No one starts at the top, not even "naturals". 

Ultimately, I think that old adage of "anything worth having is worth waiting for" is wrong. "Anything worth having is worth working for" ... and quality takes time!

Writers: How to Write an Art Order

So you've got a book, maybe even a series. You've mastered the art of creating fiction and telling a compelling story. Now you are searching for an artist to bring those words to life in a new media for illustration or cover art. However this is an art form in and of itself. It's not the same as writing fiction, so allow me to illuminate my fellow creatives on how to communicate with your artist effectively without frustrating them.

Common Mistakes Authors Make Writing Art Orders!

1. Sending the artist the story, book, or series and expecting them to mine it for images.

You've got books conveying all the information you think will be useful for character development and portrayal, so naturally you want the artist to read them to get the correct interpretation of your vision. This is one reason publishers tend to do this step, because they're good at it. They've got editors that all they do is read all day. Artists don't have time to read all day, because they need their eyes for other things such as art. As nice as it is to have an artist who is acquainted with the stories, it's just unrealistic to expect them to drop everything and read a novel.  This is a job, and throwing too much information at an artist to sift through for what they actually need bogs down the process and takes more time, time they could use to be making art. Time, that you will undoubtedly be wondering "what's taking so long?" This is why you write an Art Order, because that's what you are doing, ordering art. You've commissioned someone to do a job and they need clear, concise descriptions of what you want in order to provide what you want.

2. Assuming the Artist knows your character as well as you do.

I've worked with several wonderful writers that leave out key details in their descriptions. This results often in either having to take time to read the writer's mind or starting over when the author finds something wrong. I've had authors forget to tell me the character is undead or describe a creature but never tell me what it is in D&D terms. This isn't prose, it's a bullet list of descriptors. If you are describing a person and they remind you of Angelina Jolie or Nathan Fillion, those are huge clues to the type of face you want. Remember to include things like hair and eye color, body type, hair being curly, straight, or wavy, and other things to help the artist make this image more like a real person with as few setbacks as possible. It also helps to know tips to the character's personality such as stubborn, shy, strong, frail, and other such very visual cues. This is information that doesn't need to be a page long, but a paragraph or two. What do they do? Are they good or evil? All important information that can be reduced to short bursts of relevant information, without wading through superfluous words to get to it.

3. Constant Revisions

The side effect of not being able to give clear concise Art Orders means Constant Revisions, which is a waste of both of your time. It is a byproduct of the author not knowing what they want, indecisiveness, or unable to clearly express what they want. This is a good way for an artist to drop the job or not want to work with you again, when there are other clients who know what they want and can express it. Don't be surprised if you get charged for the revisions, because it basically means twice as much work and headache for the artist. If you don't know what you want and can't express it, wait until you can to hire an artist and do everyone a favor.

4. Expecting a Working Artist to be only working on your stuff.

Artists are jugglers and can often work on multiple projects at a time. I often switch paintings when I need to let one dry, or take on new jobs while working on others. Instead of poking the artist and distracting them from working, set a deadline with your artist within reasonable parameters of their schedule and let them work. Set a time for a preliminary sketch to be approved to allow for revisions, and then a time for the finished piece. THEN you can harass them, but you will find that you and the artist are far happier with the working relationship. Establishing realistic expectations is key.

Writing your Art Order: Information the Artist Needs to Proceed

To give you an idea of what needs to be given, I will provide an example in italics underneath.

1. Color or Black and White?
This is important because color is twice as much work
Color Oil Painting

2. Output Size
How big is this going to be printed? If it is going to be small, then it will require far less detail than a cover piece, and the artist can adjust their project appropriately.
Cover Artwork 16x20inches

3. Setting (if applicable)
Before the actors come on, you need to set the stage. Are we Pre-Industrial, Medieval Fantasy, or on a distant planet. Is it in the mountains, in an inn, or the ruins of an ancient castle. Where is the action taking place? The artist doesn't need a map of the whole world, just a snapshot of where things are taking place now. If you use a character's name, be sure to name them in the description of the character, so the artist knows who you are talking about.
Medieval Fantasy, low-magic world. Daenerys is in the desert at night surrounded by burning embers from a funeral pyre on which she did not burn. She is naked and covered in ash but otherwise unharmed.

4. How many characters are in the piece?
Is this a cast of thousands in a huge war piece or an intimate and private moment between the two main characters.
One woman and 3 baby dragons who just hatched.

5. Who are the characters and their relation to each other. Why are they there?
Again not needing a novel, this can be as simple as a phrase like "astranged lovers", or "soldiers working together", "ship-mates", "rivals".  What do they do? Is one a wizard and one a warrior? Is one a cop checking out a crime scene? Keep it short, clear, and concise.
Daenerys is "The Mother of Dragons" She is a dethroned princess who has hatched the dragons from eggs, producing the first dragons seen in a hundred years. The dragon hatchlings look to her as their mother and she is caring for them as one.

6. Describe each Character Individually
Again, be clear and concise, this is not a story, but a description more like a character sheet than a short story.

• Name
  Daenerys Targaryen
• Gender
  Female
• Race, Species, etc
  Magical Human with the "Blood of the Dragon"
• Profession, Class, Archetype
  Displaced Princess of a medieval-esque kingdom and leader of a tribe of rough horse people akin to the Mongols. She seeks to restore her viewed birthright to the throne.
• Height, Build, Body Type
  Young, Early to Mid Teens, Slim, Attractive, recently gave birth
• Abnormalities, what sets them apart
  Immune to Fire, Driven Leader, Beautiful, Magical
• Hair Color, length, style
  Long wavy to straight white hair, worn in braids leaving long tendrils in the back
• Eye Color, Eye shape
  Large blue eyes
• Face Shape - Oval, Heart, square, etc...
  Attractive heart shaped face
• Person or character you can compare them to physically
  Emelia Clark
• Personality - stubborn, shy, strong, frail, etc.
  Fierce, Driven, Loyal, Compassionate, Brave
• Clothing Description - What are they wearing? Is there a necklace that means something?
  Dragons and nothing else
• Emotional state of character in the picture - Shock, awe, romantic, sad, angry
  Daenerys kneels in the pyre of her first love and so there is sadness, but also wonder and strength at surviving the fire and proving herself to her people by hatching her dragons.
• Style
  I would like it to be done in the style of Larry Elmore

7. Theme - What's the message?

Are you trying to say anything with this piece? Is it portraying the theme of a story about redemption, vengence, etc.
It is a picture telling of things to come, Daenerys like a phoenix rising from the ashes to take her place as queen with the help of dragons, and the rebirth of magic into the world.

8. Remember that you get what you ask for! 
If you don't tell your artist that the main character's left side of his face was burned in a fire, then don't be surprised if he doesn't look like it.  Anything not falling under these suggested descriptors but important to the character should be shared from the beginning.
Picture should be from the side with strategically placed dragons to conceal breasts and naughty bits.

I hope that this blog has helped you understand a little better on how to communicate what you are looking for to your artist. It didn't not require every book George RR Martin wrote to convey this image, and yet still provided enough information to get the job done. If you hope to continue writing and working with artists, then I hope that this information will help you establish a solid working relationship with your artists.

Below is an excerpt of an Art Order from Margaret Weis Productions with the finished piece.

Dragonlance: Dragons of Krynn

Product Specs: 

Title: Dragons of Krynn

Line: Dragonlance

Release: July 2007

Format: 160 page, full color interior, hardcover book

Art Dimensions:

1/2 page vertical = 3.125” by 9.25”

1/2 page horizontal = 6.5” by 4.25”

1/4 page = 3.125” by 4.25”

Total Page Count: 16 pages of art

All illustrations are either 1/2 page vertical, 1/2 page horizontal, or 1/4 page pieces. 

References are as follows:

DLCS Dragonlance Campaign Setting

AoM Age of Mortals

WotL War of the Lance

BoK Bestiary of Krynn

BoKR Bestiary of Krynn, Revised

ToHS Towers of High Sorcery

WotL War of the Lance

HOoS Holy Orders of the Stars

LotT Legends of the Twins

KOoA Knightly Orders of Ansalon

RoA Races of Ansalon

All equipment references (armor, weapons, etc.) refer to Chapter 7 of the Player’s Handbook.

The following is the art order:

Illo #15: Amphi Dragon

Size: 1/4 page Location in book: Book 1, chapter 4

Two amphi dragons fighting underwater with one defending a ship wreck that it claims as its own.  Description: This aquatic dragon resembles a giant, sea-green toad covered in scales and yellow warts. It has no visible neck, and its wide thick-lipped head looks like a cross between a frog’s and a dragon’s. Small vestigial wings grow from its back, and bony ridges protrude above its eyes and down its spine. Its long, clawed feet are powerful and webbed, aiding it in underwater movement.

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Building depth on unfinished artwork.

One of the things that I often see in students is a lack of depth. Their drawings are rather flat and lacking that 3 Dimensional quality that comes from the push and pull of highlights and shadows. Without those extreme lights and darks all the mid tones wash out and the image becomes rather flat.

I remember being the same way when I was younger and getting the same admonition from my college Art teacher. Making those dark marks feels so permanent, and not making them is basically a lack of confidence and commitment. I was afraid of the dark.  I was afraid it would mess everything up if I went there. Afraid that it would ruin everything.

There are so many parallels that can be drawn between art and life, such as seeing things as they really are instead of how you think they should be. This is an excellent parallel to psychology. Many people are afraid to look deep within, and face their darker qualities or accept that it's there at all. That fear of the dark can create many personality disorders. It's one of the cores of Borderline Personality Disorder as well as a core component of Narcissism, where it's always the other person's fault and the narcissist will go to great lengths to defy and deny reality to convince themselves and others of this. Both will attack someone who may point out the darkness that they are so keen to deny rather than introspect and consider their own faults. The reason they attack is because it feels like an attack on the reality they constructed, much like references to trying to unchain someone from Plato's cave.

In artwork, establishing that darkness is important, but it has to be counterbalanced with light in order to truly be developed and not just a dark muddy mess. One does this with highlights, establishing the lightest lights.  After that, all else falls in the spectrum of mid tones of varying shades of light and dark, and truly gives the image its depth. Even without a wide range of mid tones, like drawing on toned paper with a white and black color pencil, it still has more depth than those afraid of leaving a mark.

One of the things about highlights in art, the whitest white will always be your light source, even if there is something else "white" in the picture, like a shirt. In fact when looked at more closely it is actually a light grey, blue, or yellow as opposed to white. When compared with the rest of the picture's colors it changes the way that it is perceived.

So it is also with the psyche, there's something in everyone that illuminates them and stands out. That is their inner light in contrast to their darkness, that sets the stage and spectrum for all else. It might be the divine within them or simply love, but it shapes and highlights the whole personality of the individual.

One needs to have a good grasp of both, a realistic perception of dark and light to put the rest into perspective. If not, someone afraid of the dark might start interpreting even light grays as black, unable to see the difference, or light grays as white instead of what they really are. This is also a symptom of narcissism which is extreme idealization and devaluation, along with other unrealistic perceptions of seeing someone as all bad or all good, unable to see the reality of a person or situation in its full spectrum.

If there's anything an artist can teach, it's that you can't create something new until you perceive what is really there. Only then can you alter it to improve it. To be able to draw realistically, you must first be able to see realistically. In order to cope with anything in life you have to be able to see it how it really is, instead of assuming. This comes with experience and observation, practice and perception, and self awareness. These are not only necessities in art, but in life.

Mile Marker 183

So I can't visit my folks without passing the road my ex tried to kill me on. It's a reminder I don't have to deal with now that I live a couple hours away, but it still hits me when I drive past and I can't help remembering. So like with other things that try to destroy me, I combat it by creating something. In this case, I wrote a song... it was very Sarah McLachlan in tune.

Mile Marker 183
Lindsay Archer

Standing at the Crossroads of Music Row and Memory Lane
Remembering the chill of a burnt out old flame
staring at the wreckage that to this day remains
A head to head collision won’t leave you the same
When you encounter a pile up of the criminally insane
Standing at the Crossroads of Music Row and Memory Lane

He gritted his teeth and gripped the wheel
His foot hit the gas and the rubber peeled
down this old country blacktop street
toward a wicked curve of near 90 degrees
On the other side all I could see
was the interstate’s mile marker 183
That’s when I realized it was death staring at me
as the speedometer buried somewhere near 90
It was my life at stake and him at the wheel
If he couldn’t have me, then my life he would steal
I’d be free of him, even with my last breath, I swore
At least I wouldn’t have to live in fear anymore

Standing at the Crossroads of Music Row and Memory Lane
Remembering the chill of a burnt out old flame
staring at the wreckage that to this day remains
A head to head collision won’t leave you the same
When you encounter a pile up of the criminally insane
Standing at the Crossroads of Music Row and Memory Lane

He curved to the left and couldn’t believe
that I was more angry and ready to leave
This torturous game of predator and prey
I could never gain, only lose more each day
That’s when crocodile tears formed in his eye
His frequent trick to avoid caught in a lie
That’s when I realized it was death staring at me
On the other side of mile marker 183
There was no way he’d ever let me leave
The passing of freedom, which I still grieve
Left cleaning up the mess that he made
and his deep debt that can never be paid.

Standing at the Crossroads of Music Row and Memory Lane
Remembering the chill of a burnt out old flame
staring at the wreckage that to this day remains
A head to head collision won’t leave you the same
When you encounter a pile up of the criminally insane
Standing at the Crossroads of Music Row and Memory Lane

Now I’m exhausted and all I want is to sleep
But slumber since has not been deep
Would that I could, finally find rest,
so rare in this world, even at my best.
If only it were just him, but that’s a far cry
There many like him, both girl and guy
That’s when I realized it was death staring at me
Well, beyond mile marker 183
In the dirty looks and the judging eyes
of those whose life has never capsized.
Reopening old wounds that can never quite heal
At the hands of people who can’t know how it feels

Standing at the Crossroads of Music Row and Memory Lane
Remembering the chill of a burnt out old flame
staring at the wreckage that to this day remains
A head to head collision won’t leave you the same
When you encounter a pile up of the criminally insane
Standing at the Crossroads of Music Row and Memory Lane



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My Prayer

Since I've prayed for things in the past and am pretty sure God likes me to be specific, I thought that I would share those things I earnestly desire for those in my life. Though I believe in the power of prayer, I also know that sometimes it's powerful to know that someone wishes good things for you, especially when you have a hard time even wanting them for yourself. Even if you are an atheist, if you're my friend, know that this is what I wish for you and take it as the positive thought that it is, even if you don't believe in prayer.

So here is what I pray for all my friends, family, animals, and myself... (I like to pray for us all together as an affirmation of our connections and relationships.)

To be Healthy (Physically, Mentally, and Spiritually), that all ailments of thought or flesh might flee us and free us to live a life unhindered. That all damage might heal rapidly and restore us to full health.

To be Strong (Physically, Mentally, and Spiritually), that being healthy and unhindered we might find strength to combat all that life might throw at us, whether flesh or thought, so that we might be strong in our defense and indomitable in the face of foes.

To be Beautiful (Physically, Mentally, and Spiritually), that in that Strength there might also be beauty and grace to temper what could be brutish, wisdom to temper the strength of mind, and love to amplify the strength of the soul.

May these things together create a perfect balance and bring us Peace and Prosperity. Keep us from pain and persecution and may we never seek to cause pain or persecution to another. In so doing, make us a blessing to those around us that the very act of being is more of a testimony than any word we may speak.

Bless those who Bless us, and for those who wish good things for us, I pray that they might also be blessed with the same.

For those who curse us, I pray they develop empathy and understanding and begin to be healthy too. That they might come to grips with what is broken inside them that makes them hate us, as much as anything that we have done. Convict their hearts that they might repent and ask for forgiveness so that we might move forward.

And for those we have truly wronged, I ask forgiveness for those times when we were neither healthy nor strong. Help us to repent and be forgiven that we might move forward.

I pray that all these things work for good, and that the human race might wake from the sleep that shuts its eyes to truth. That we might all see things as they truly are and move in a positive direction toward healing instead of wounding.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen

IT WORKS! DO IT!

I feel like I'm yelling at walls concerning certain topics, and it doesn't seem like anything gets through to people. Often a couple years later, people will come back with "I should have listened to you", but by then it's too late and just more of Cassandra's tears.

I've been saying for years that we have the technology to GPS track criminals who have already been convicted of violent crimes to prevent them from repeat offending. Times have changed, but as usual the laws haven't. Restraining orders are just a piece of paper, and parole officer check ins are a comfort to some, but in general the restrictions like don't go near a school zone or other such things are not very well enforced. Just take a look at how many sex offenders live in your vicinity some day, it will frighten you. But now that we have GPS tracking there's no reason for that! We chip our dogs for goodness sake! It's been proven safe and effective. The tech and premise are solid.

Violent Sex Offenders are more likely to repeat offend than any other criminal. Therefore releasing these high risk individuals back into the population is like releasing a wolf into a herd of sheep. He might be nice and full when you release him, but sooner or later he's going to get hungry for what put him in a cage to start with. So why not track them?

Forget the responses for why not, because they are all invalid now. It's recently been proven to work extremely effectively by being put into practice in Massachusetts. Tried and tested, IT WORKS!

"not a single case she's taken on has ended in murder, and the men who have been sentenced to GPS tracking have not committed any future acts of violence. "

They say that you can tell what your enemy fears by what he uses to threaten you. This employs that same principle and uses it effectively in a way that has broken the cycle of oppression that comes at the hands of abusers and stalkers...

"The system works in no small part because it turns the logic of an abusive relationship on its head. The abuser works by making the victim feel like she will never be free of him, his violence, and his surveillance. If she tries to leave, he escalates. If she gets a new boyfriend, he escalates. The idea is to make her feel like her choices are to submit or to live in terror. The high-risk teams shift the burden of being surveilled from the victim to the abuser. Now, if he makes a threat, Massachusetts has the power to escalate. If he uses visitation time to attack her or her children, Massachusetts restricts visitation. Now he's the one who has to make his decisions with the understanding that someone with power can further restrict his movements and his ability to live freely. Abusers often victimize for years before taking things to the level of a serious beating or murder. By restricting movements in the early stages, it appears that the program helps keep abusers from getting to that point. "

At last someone gets it! The solution has been staring us in the face for some time now, and someone finally put it to good use. The number of social problems that this will solve are numerous. Out of all the worthless legislation being pressed for, THIS addresses a real social threat. Now that we know that it works, there is no reason we shouldn't have this in every state. IT WORKS! DO IT!

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