Psychopaths are Dangerous Animals

*puts down soap box and climbs on top of it*

Alright people, here's some abnormal psych 101.

I know it broke many hearts to watch the news about Connecticut, and as rational people shocked and appalled that a human could do such a thing, they feel the need to DO something to prevent it from happening again.  I have heard arguments against guns, violent video games, right down to what kids eat blamed for what happened... so let me make this clear... the ONLY person to blame is the person who did it!  He made a decision that NORMAL people do not make.

All these peripheral protections that people want to enact are out of fear that something will turn a good person into a walking time bomb.  This just isn't the case.  A violent video game or movie may numb people to violence, but so does being a trauma surgeon... does this mean we should outlaw them... that they are one day going to decide instead of helping the dying person get well that they are going to go on a murder spree through the ER?  Probably not...  And honestly, there were no video games or movies for Jack the Ripper to get ideas.  Serial killers, murders, rapists, or simply put - EVIL - people have always been here and will always be.  It's not the good people that we need protection from.

Now give that same video game to a psychopath... and that might be something to worry about. Psychopaths are BORN and make up about 5% of the population last time I checked the numbers.  You have a 1 in 20 chance of meeting them and they are often VERY charming and charismatic, unburdened with guilt they can lie and beguile without most people knowing the wiser.  It's usually the internal life, those closest that see their true self, and often the victim is so maligned by the charming psychopath, that they will have stadiums of supporters cheering them on as they abuse their victim.  There is a tale in New Orleans of a woman who was an extremely popular socialite but who had been performing horrible acts of mutilation and murder on her slaves.  Everyone loved her and had no idea... and this too was long before chemicals in food or television.  Perhaps the reason that it appears that these instances are increasing, is that as populations increase, so does the number of people included in that small percentage.  But also the sensationalism of the news may be to blame.  Some people especially psychopaths THRIVE off bad news and find it exciting.  But more importantly we are aware of things more than we used to be.  Who knows what happened in the days of homesteading when justice was as far away as the rest of civilization?

Most of the time a psychopath will not kill someone if they don't think they can get away with it.  What stops them are consequences, getting caught, punishment, or people knowing their secret darkness.  Psychopaths do not have a normal person's sense of empathy or compassion to keep them in check.  Laws mean little, because they tend to think they are above others and thus also the law.  However if they think their target benign enough and think they are smart enough, they will choose their victims carefully.  They don't pick people who they think will fight back.  They are predators and predators prey on those they deem "weak" : Analysis of gun ownership rates versus homicides http://t.co/MGpscVrY

Which means that by limiting guns, you widen the predator's hunting grounds.  Right now I know a stalker bitching about Georgia hicks and their guns, but by God, if he shows up, I will be glad of our castle laws.

These people are animals... and like animals they will not be swayed through means that control normal people such as logic, appealing to their compassion (though they may make a good show of it), or NORMAL means.  They are not normal people.  The only way is through the "threat" of deadly force, which has been shown repeatedly that when met with deadly force or being caught, the shooter often takes their own life.

If you were being charged by a bear how would you react?  IF there were the threat of bear attack, how would you react?  You do what you can not to encourage them to approach you, and if they do anyway, you better have a place to hide or a way to take them out.  If you want to find a kinder way to protect the populace, then fund research to find genetic markers that predispose people for psychopathy, and stop blaming other things.

An Armed Society is a Polite Society
*gets off soapbox*

Moms

An article I just posted on FB has encouraged me to give my opinion, which is never a popular notion.  But I'm tired of the mom's that are "oh wah, you have to stay home with your kids, but I'm going to work 40 hours a week too" which basically says "I'm better than you because I have a job".  This is a symptom of the greater problem of women in competition with each other, or the one I hate more of the competition of who has it the hardest... and if that's the case, I hope you win.

If you are going to work 40 hours a week, then it's a safe bet that you aren't doing this with your kids.  You drop them off at school or day care or with grandma.  This means that SOMEONE ELSE IS DOING THE WORK.  If you are paying someone to do something that you aren't willing to do, this is not the same as doing it.  While your kids are elsewhere, they are not tearing up your home for you to clean up and essentially making more work for you... and if you are lucky enough to have a husband that helps clean up or a cleaning service... then it's really not the same.  You are going to your job, but you are not contending with your children at the same time, which is also a job or you wouldn't be paying someone else to do it.

I am a stay at home mom because I am self employed.  This means that I squeeze in every hour I can when I can, but also means that I can't focus on things because if I hear my little girl crying over the monitor during her nap, I'm up there and checking on her.  There's no real down time, but I manage.  However I come in contact with a lot of moms minimizing what I do, but the worst are those without children.  I had one person who criticized me and then couldn't stand watching Morgan for more than an hour without a break down.  Somehow mommy does it all day though... and yet this is reason for criticism?  Honestly Morgan is a fairly well behaved kid. I hate to see how that woman handles motherhood.

I guess the point is that the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence, and really it's nobody's business unless the child is being abused.  The only reason to criticize stay at home moms versus working moms is either jealousy or a superiority complex... which as it is often characterized by lack of empathy would make sense.  Isn't it hard enough to try and make it in a man's world without beating down other women?

It's really easy to judge someone if you haven't been there, and that's one of the problems of being a survivor of trauma as well.  People don't get it unless they have been there too, but the majority of the problem is a lack of empathy.  Not everybody has to do things the way that you would do them.  Stop using your own interpretations by which to measure other people, because I can guarantee that at the end of the day, you won't measure up to even your own vision of yourself.