Loving Yourself

We have a society of people who are so worried about loving themselves so they feel good but don't know how to love. If you can't understand love, how can you perform this action in any way for yourself or others. Self love is not the same as narcissism, which is what many have turned it into and here's the difference.

LOVE requires HONESTY
If your love is based on a lie, even if that lie is to yourself, then it's not love. Sometimes you have to tough love yourself as well. Anything built on a lie won't last. Don't accept the things that just feel good. Understand your weaknesses, only then can you overcome them. Most lies start within ourself before we start passing them off to others. Don't lie to yourself or others that you are more or less important than you are. It won't make it so.

LOVE is not about the OUTSIDE
If your love is based on your physical appearance, don't be surprised when that's all others want from you. Your physical beauty does not entitle you to certain things, nor does it omit you from love. Don't be shallow with yourself, and you won't be shallow with others. Your physique will fade, don't build your self worth on something that won't last.

LOVE is a DISCIPLINE
The Bible says if you love your child, you discipline them. There is truth to that. If you never discipline a child, you are dooming them to never be able to cope with a world that will inevitably say no and get tired of their self serving crap. Discipline is how you achieve greater and greater things, and that starts with yourself. If you love yourself, you will discipline yourself to not give into every whim and urge that might hurt yourself or those around you. Learning self discipline tames the chaos and will make you a better person.

LOVE is about TRUST
Learn to listen to yourself and trust your intuition. If you are honest with yourself enough to know how and why you feel the things you feel and disciplined enough to not be subject to whim, intuitions become clearer. Listen if a part of you tells you that something is wrong, because it probably is. Don't stay where you are being taken for granted and hurt. Love yourself enough to remove yourself from situations that are destructive and toxic. Your intuition will tell you.

LOVE won't change with your POSITION
If you have to be over others and in charge to feel good about yourself, then that's a tenuous situation, because what you really love is power. A need for power and control are fast tracks to destruction. The only thing you can control is you. That needs to go inward instead of outward. Learning to be okay with yourself in any position is powerful. Self worth should come from inside instead of outside, because outside can change at any moment.

LOVE is about being wise with your TIME
Just as people who waste your time, don't care about you, don't waste your time either. Take the time to do the things you need to do for you. Take care of yourself, and don't allow other people to squander your time. Value your time, and others will value it as well. Time is much like emotional currency. Don't spend it on those who are a bad investment of your time, but invest in those who give you a return, including yourself. Spend that time wisely making yourself better.

Love is not something we innately know.  It's something we learn from experience and observation. We come into the world selfish babies, because it's about us and our needs and getting as much love from others as we can. This doesn't make us bad, just immature. Eventually we are to grow out of that phase, but more and more people are growing up less and less. If we don't have good models to learn from, we do what we can to get by. This is how people learn to manipulate others to get what they think they want or need. In children it's tantrums, but adults are more practiced and manipulations take many forms. When you don't have the love you need from others, it's hard to know how to love yourself. Supposedly people who need love the most, like the color purple. I'm not sure if that's true, but I've seen a lot of purple lovers who have developed unhealthy behaviors to supplement love and get their way. All I can do is hope that if you are reading this now that you will at least think about this. After all, you can't change someone who sees nothing wrong with their behavior, and that includes ourselves.