Holiday Gift Giving

Morgan's First Christmas

I've never been a big fan of being forced to do anything, and that covers holidays. I don't want to give a gift because I have to, but because I want to and saw something that made me think of them.  I also am horrible at waiting to give gifts.  So Christmas is pretty  much all of December, because although I'm not big on the holiday itself, I love to give and make people happy with it, but the compulsory nature is what irks me.

If you have ever worked retail during Christmas, holiday music may be a knee jerk reaction of incoming jerks.  The sudden frothing madness to find something for everyone on a list so that no one will be forgotten or upset about being forgotten is an undue pressure for the spirit of the holiday.  Not only that, but the expectation to provide gifts is an ever growing strain in an economy that is lagging. Prior to Christmas there is an abundance of thefts that happen in order to meet the expectation to give till it hurts.
 All these things steal away the real reasons for Christmas.  "Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men" becomes a battle cry as people are trampled on Black Friday.

There is an excellent book called the 5 Love Languages that explains that people have different expressions of love. Gifts is only one of these. The rest are Quality Time, Acts of Service, Touch, and Words of Affirmation.  Everyone's love languages are different with a primary and a secondary.  Although I personally love to give gifts, it's actually last on my list, which is probably why I'm writing this blog.

So what's the point? Obviously it's the end that goes in the other guy... I mean ... It's that gifts are meant to be an expression of love, but that's not the only way to express love.  When Sheldon Cooper offered Penny his "coupons" to go point out the inaccuracies at the Science Museum, she was rather put off by the offer, yet Amy jumped at the chance.  The receiver is what's important, and the receiver's love language as well.

So when you're thinking of a gift for that person, maybe what they REALLY want is just time with you.  Maybe the best gift you could give would be to put everything aside and focus on them if Quality Time is their Love Language.  Perhaps the person just needs help around the house, and cleaning the house, or fixing the car might be what they really want if Acts of Service is their love language.  Some people's best gift might just be a good snuggle, and some people a well written letter of how much they mean to you. All of which still costs time, but that's why it's a holiday.  So why not open your hearts instead of your wallets this Christmas.

All of us are different, and so I tend to balk at the homogenized giving  of gifts as a way to show love for Christmas.  The message that sends is that there is only one way to show love, when that's not true.  It focuses on material instead of the heart, which is what it should be about.  Perhaps I seem a little Grinchy in my approach to Christmas. I've had people obsessed with gifts and outward appearance show me just how little that means when there is absolutely no love in their heart.  Therefore it means very little to me.  It could be a Charlie Brown Christmas with a single ornament, as long as I get to be with people that I love and want to show love to, instead of being forced to spend it with people I don't.

No matter what religion, no matter what faith, no matter what family...  Love is every day.  Expressions of love should be more than just once a year.  And when you attempt to show it every day, holidays become far less important.  Because it's just another day to give what you've been giving all along.