The One Thing That Ruins it All

Imagine trying to fit a child through that ... 

When "The Lord of the Rings" movies came out, I was in my mid-twenties. I had recently divorced a psychopath who laid a web of lies to catch me, and then tried to destroy me for trying to leave. The moment that I was divorced my male friends, saw me instantly as available, disregarding the horrible traumas I'd been through and I immediately had to deal with more people vying to get in my pants post rape.

When I saw Lord of the Rings, I was instantly infatuated with Aragorn, and it wasn't until recently that I put together why he was so attractive to me at the time. It had less to do with Viggo Mortensen's performance, and the knee weakening line "if by my life or death I can protect you, I will", and more to do with his ability to resist the temptation of the ring. Even when Frodo offered it to him, Aragorn said no, because it wasn't right at that moment. It also explains why when listening to the books, I was more infatuated with Faramir.

Of course when I saw Viggo in person riding Hidalgo, I squealed over the horse... I have issues.

Being a woman can be a lot like carrying the one ring. People you think that you can trust, who you've journeyed with for a long time, even if they make side long comments ... you don't think they'll pull a Boromir and jump you to try and take it from you ... but sometimes they do. And just like Boromir, some of them might feel guilty when they come to their senses later, but then there are Nazguls who might come out of the shadows and gang stab you, leaving you never quite the same. Gollums lurk in the corners, stalking you and waiting to pounce. Others feel entitled to the power for playing the nice guy, like the recent California incident, and when they don't get the prize in their web of lies, they show their true colors.

One does not simply feel entitled to sex.

Like the ring's gravity, sexual appeal is a form of power, a power that influences men and women. For every power hungry man who is more interested in the ring than its bearer, there are also Galadriels who can turn on you, wanting to be the most powerful, and can turn and attack you out of jealousy. I've been accused of a lot of sex I've never had with people who had more interest in me than I did in them. But the women involved couldn't fathom beyond their mate's lust to things such as friendship. They assumed that I was taunting men with the ring, (usually because that's how they used their own power) and perhaps some of those men might have been Boromirs, but some were also Faramirs who were just good friends.

All of this can leave a girl to want to throw that ring into the mountain and be done with the trouble of the Nazguls and Gollums in the world who seem to always be a step behind you. There are so few Aragorns out there in the world. Although it gets better as you get older and are less appealing than the new crop of young things, there will always be those making power plays of one form or another. At least the metaphor falls apart because it's not horrible to use your own power of the ring, well unless you're a Puritan with God's eye watching you. And using that power can be great if you happen to find your Aragorn. But like Frodo at the end of the series, those attacks from others can leave you changed. The wounds of Nazgul never quite heal even if you happen to have some Elven magic. But the journey is worth it as long as you've got some good friends like Sam and Gandalf to help.