Don't go for the Groin!

Athena - Goddess of War and Wisdom

Still hanging in there, still trying to not only maintain a quality of life and safety, but looking into martial arts again.  So many things have not been available in the past due to money or more often not being able to pay a babysitter and the cost of classes at the same time. Morgan is reaching an age now though that should allow us a little more freedom in that area, and we always said, she wasn't allowed to date till she got a black belt.

Presently we are looking into Krav Maga and hoping at some point to get back into fencing as well.  The most useful things I learned were not from my red belt in Tae Kwon Do but my lessons in Wing Chun and grappling from Francis Fong in Gwinnett. I never tested, but we all learned and worked on the same useful techniques, regardless of belts.  It was far more like actual fighting, when I did end up in a couple through out my life.

This brings to mind the single bit of advice that I was told since I was a child that was the most useless and dangerous bit of misinformation that anyone could have ever told me.

"Go for the crotch"

I would like to point out that I kicked Liam in the crotch twice while he was tying me up and it was downright useless.  This was a man that regularly exercised is neck muscles to prevent from being choked.  All a foot to the groin did, was make him angrier and more determined to hurt me.

There was another instance as a 12 year old girl where going for the crotch was equally disastrous.  First of all, kneeing someone in the groin while waist deep in water, is not going to work.  And when I tried to scratch in that general area as I had been taught, it only invited some serious trouble ... trouble that ended in me being literally held under water and drowned ... as in breathed in water, out of body experience ... drowned.

So from experience I can say, that is the most rubbish piece of advice that people who know nothing are all to happy to tell girls, which makes them foolishly feel like they can CTRL/ALT/DEL out of any male attack.

Also, you are often told to scream, and now they want you to blow a bloody rape whistle.  What you have to understand is that people are so absolutely terrified of being sullied by rape that if you scream rape, you are probably not going to get any help.  Self Defense articles recommend yelling "Fire" instead, because people are far more likely to come to your aid or call the authorities.

When I was at Comic Con one year, I was in the bathroom listening to 2 cleaning ladies talk.  It was early in the day, so only vendors were in the hall and it was just me in the stall.  The one lady was talking of how some girl was screaming for help and looking to her to help her, and her response was to be offended "like I was going to help her and risk getting hurt".  The fact is that you can't depend on others to come to your aid.  In a recent interview by Joss Whedon, he regaled a story of his youth, being mugged and beaten in the middle of the streets in New York, while people walked by and no one lifted a finger to help.  It is literally amazing the amount of things that humans will turn a blind eye to for the sake of "not getting involved".

So it's best to assume that unless you can get to a phone to call 911, which will be tricky, that you're going to have to try some other way to disentangle from your attacker.

GO FOR THE EYES

One of the problems with many women is not being able to hurt someone else.  Well, in this case, you're going to have to get over it, or else you're the one going to get hurt.  Instead of the crotch, go for the eyes.  If they can't see you, they can't get to you. It hurts, it's not life threatening, and it should give you a window to escape while inhibiting any further pursuit.

GO FOR THE THROAT

In my case I couldn't reach the eyes, and I was fighting with his hands.  He was bigger and stronger than me, and had caught me off guard.  I tried to reach his throat and squeeze, but that only invited him to choke me.  Don't go for a choke.  Go for a sharp hard jab to the wind pipe.  This will constrict breathing and should distract them enough to create a window to escape.

Why am I suggesting escape?  Because staying to try and fight it out is not your best option.  It's an invitation for more damage.  The best thing is to get away and call 911.

DON'T BE A VICTIM

Fight back!  You won't regret it.  You will regret the things you didn't do.  Also, fight with your mind.  Tell them that what they are doing is wrong.  Tell them it's rape.  Don't leave any room for them to misinterpret. Predators often go after easy prey. I told one girl, that no matter how big and strong they are, you are always bigger than their little finger.  She took it to heart and when she was raped later, she almost took the guy's finger off.  She did not stop the attack, but the sheer act of fighting back empowered her.

There are many other ways to be prepared, and I'm still learning them too, by getting into Krav Maga.  I hope that you are never in a situation to need this advice, but if you are my heart goes out to you.  It's an epidemic.  The number of female friends I have who have been abused out number the ones who haven't significantly.  It only takes one man to hurt many women, and they usually do.  They usually hop from one to the next. So prepare your little girls, because there are plenty of hungry wolves out there, and more than likely, they've heard the same bad advice I did.