October 23

As of 1pm today, an automated phone call informed me that my exhusband had been released from prison.  Today was the first day I carried my gun with me all day. It was fine when I was working on the cover piece for the Redemption Trilogy this morning, and I was mostly okay. However after picking up Morgan, it became far more difficult to be vigilant with a 4 year old demanding attention.

Lots of people enjoy giving advice with absolutely no experience in this situation.  It's all well meaning, but not very comforting.  The only things comforting are my gun, my dog, and my alarm system.  The world feels like it's restricting around me, and I can't breathe. Optical migraines and on the verge of panic attacks today.  All of it held within for the benefit of my family.

I really just want to sleep.  It still doesn't seem real, and I'm trying to go about my normal life.